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My ex prefers cybersex Last year, after two years without sex or any intimate contact, I divorced my husband. It was a friendly divorce and we have managed to stay friends. But now that we're divorced, diivorced wants to have computer sex all the time. He doesn't understand why.
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My ex prefers cybersex Last year, after two years without sex or any intimate contact, I divorced my husband. It was a friendly divorce and we have managed to stay friends.
But now that we're divorced, he wants to have computer sex all the time. He doesn't understand why.
From online dating to online divorce: an overview of couple and family relationships shaped through digital media
I don't understand why. I still love him and would never have divorced him if he had participated in our marriage physically. I love the attention but somehow feel cheap by this.
What gives? The quick answer: Some people prefer cybersex to real sex. Though I cannot diagnose someone I have not evaluated, here are a few possibilities. Though he has desire, having actual sex is problematic, so he avoids it. As you know, this does not prevent him from having computer sex.
Differing opinions on infidelity
But he will never have a solution until he seeks treatment. In a case like this, his fantasy is about conquest.
This is a tough problem to treat. We all know people who woo someone like mad, dropping their object of desire as soon as they win them over.
The thrill is in the chase. This is not necessarily about a fear of commitment, though the same person could have that, too. If this kind of person, like your husband, does marry, he feels smothered and trapped.
This robs him of desire. Sometimes couples spend years in a yo-yo cycle of splitting up and reuniting.
S your spouse is having a cyber affair
You want a real relationship with real intimacy and real sex — not this game, where he prefers the cyber version of you to the flesh and blood one. For him, the cyber version has no downside. As you know, real relationships include downs as well as ups. I divorcde no problem with games. Games are fun — as long as both people want to play.
What are the s?
But some people prefer a computer relationship because it is not a real one. In many ways, computer sex is like intense flirting in the days before e-mail.
The computer enables extra fantasy and also acts as a disinhibitor, where he is more bold because he divofced unseen. It sounds as though this computer fantasy works for him.
How does online sexual behavior start?
Ask yourself whether it works for you. Feel free to e-mail your ex-husband to suggest roms is really going on, and ask him whether he honestly wants to deal with it. If you feel diminished by this, move on to someone who is capable of a real relationship. Getting Smart About Your Private Parts" Penguinhelps parents deal with preschoolers' questions about sex and reproduction.
It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site.